As will quickly become evident in this article I am not much of a . I consider myself a great , but baking requires more science than I am capable of, so I tend to eschew it wherever possible. However - on reading for the British classic spotted dick (get your giggles out now) it seemed simple!
It doesn't even , which is great because mine is untrustworthy at best - instead you just need to bung all the ingredients in a bowl, mix and steam it for an hour and a half! What could go wrong?

Well unfortunately, after buying all of the ingredients for this pudding and mixing them together, I realised we also don't have a steamer.
Putting my mind to it, I realised I could scrunch up some balls of tinfoil and use a heatsafe plate to house my dessert while it steamed.
The plate would sit in the foil, which kept it above the bubbling water and the fact that spotted dick is wrapped in parchment paper meant no mess! Genius, if I do say so myself.
With that hurdle conquered, I got to mixing. Even for an amateur, this is a piece of cake (intentional pun). It came together quickly and easily and the zest from the citrus made my kitchen smell amazing.
After an hour and a half of steaming it was time to tuck in. I was pleasantly surprised - although it's not my usual kind of dessert, it was delicious and moist with just enough citrus to keep it from being overly sweet.
I used cranberries instead of the traditional currants and I really liked it - they added a nice tartness, and accompanied by rich custard, it was overall delicious.
250g self-raising flour
Pinch of salt
125g shredded suet
180g currant (I used cranberries because I couldn't find currants)
80g caster sugar
Finely grated zest 1 lemon
Finely grated zest 1 small orange
150ml whole milk plus two to three tbsp (I used oat milk because that's what I had)
Custard to serve (I used store bought because I am lazy)
Method:1. Put the flour and salt into a bowl and mix it, then add the suet, sugar, currants (or whatever you have on hand) and zested citrus.
2. Add the milk and mix until a moist dough is formed. You may need to add a bit more milk if it's too dry.
3. Shape the mixture into a 20cm-ish log, and loosely wrap it in baking paper. Place this roll into a steamer and steam it for 1.5 hours - make sure you keep an eye on the water so it doesn't dry out.
4. Take out, cool slightly and serve sliced with custard.
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